Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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