OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
