im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
