i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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