dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
How external is "for external use only"?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
