Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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