do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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