i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this beer tastes like vomit already
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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