i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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