fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
a search helicopter?!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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