He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
