i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize