dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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