DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
