but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
