So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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