His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just had sex on a roof
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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