guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
