Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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