everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize