She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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