You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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