is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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