maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
