We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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