No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize