ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
