True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My bed smells like the plague
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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