Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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