I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
