...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
