she peed on how many people?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Lo siento on account of my penis...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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