Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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