That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
