Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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