I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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