you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
