Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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