i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
