Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
whose parrot is this?
My dick has a subreddit
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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