U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Randomize