Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
