Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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