No awkward lesbian experiences without me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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