Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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