Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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