don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
