I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
