Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
