lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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