Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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