The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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