it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
