Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's shark week go big or go home
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
