Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
