Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
