There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so explain again why im purple
no
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
