I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
