I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
