I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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