3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
