So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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