Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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