considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
