I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
