I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
