i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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