but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
