just come out here and I will go home with you...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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