I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize